The challenge

Once again, this is an all about me post because well, I'm the author so I can do whatever I want! I think Nate would be in support of my writing this though.

Those of you who know me really well know I have a really bad habit - picking the skin and cuticles around my nails. To an obsessive compulsive point almost. I've lived with this for years and years. Recently I found out there's even a medical term for it. It's really like an addiction, I know that seems rather disgusting to anyone who doesn't understand it, but I'm a type A personality, I internalize my stress and frustration and I have alot of nervous energy - so this is how I deal with it.

Well, lately, I've been tired of having to dig for bandaids at work, sick of pulling my sleeves down over my fingers so no one would see the sores, tired of worrying what other professionals I work with must think of me. And then the icing on the cake was a rather disturbing episode of the show House, MD that I saw recently and I'll spare the details but let me tell you it was enough to challenge me to do something.

I quit.

I did it cold turkey, because honestly, there's just no other way to do it. I just really needed to do it. Now I've tried before, many, many times in the past to the point where I'm sure some people are possibly even doubting my ability to really do it this time. But that's why I'm being so honest and public about my battle. I fully intend to succeed this time.

It's been nine days so far. My hands are healing. They are starting to look almost normal. There are scabs, scars and tissue that will take time to heal, but so far, I'm liking the results. When I make it a month I will get a manicure. When I make it a year, I will get a new right hand ring. This isn't to say it hasn't been hard - it has. Trust me. Especially when sometimes I would do it just out of boredom and the computer system has been up and down at work lately. But I'm going to do this. It's a challenge I will overcome. I just keep telling myself the hardest thing I ever had to do was walk away from the church I grew up in so everything else in my life will be a piece of cake.

So, for humor's sake, but also because it helps me, I'll leave you with a list of things I came up with over the weekend that are OTHER things I can do do with my hands:

1. I can color pictures in a coloring book

2. I can help Nate bottle a batch of beer

3. I can drink a bottle of said beer and just not put the bottle down (this makes it sound like I'm leading to other problems...)

4. I can play a musical instrument (haven't done this yet, but considering bringing my flute home from my parents to fiddle faddle around with for fun)

5. I can pet my cats

6. I can bake cookies

7. I can do a puzzle

8. I can play boxing on the Wii. Or Mario Kart. Or Guitar Hero or Rockband. I think the Wii is my new therapy.

9. I can type long blog posts like this one

10. I can hold my husband's hand and no longer fear that he won't want to touch my hand because it's all chewed up and unhealthy looking. Not that he ever complained, but I'm doing this for him just as much as for myself.

I'll keep you all posted of my progress!