Just Write: Birthday Memories

So I have definitely accepted the whole "turning 30" thing that is happening next week. I really have. Well, mostly. I'm sure I'll have some weak moments yet. But I really do feel ok with it for the most part.

That doesn't mean I'm not contemplative though about it. Especially when over the weekend I realized, I have celebrated 30 birthdays. That seems like so many all of a sudden. I don't remember my birthdays real well until I was probably 4 or 5.

Each year we did a family party, usually with my grandma and my two favorite aunts and their families. When I got into elementary school, I was allowed to have a friend party as well. And of course, when I got together with Nate, birthdays took on a whole new life, because of his being the day after mine. We started celebrating them with both of our families and having parties with our friends together from pretty much the first year we were dating.

I have many memorable birthday experiences that stick out in my head as I reflect on 30 years worth of them. Some good, some not so good.

The year my dad was helping someone with their electrical work and it started snowing and he was late getting home. The party with my friends when I lost my first tooth in a cupcake but started crying because I thought I swallowed it. The year my mom dropped my cake face down on the floor and had to make a new one in a very short amount of time. Celebrating one year over at my grandma's house because we were remodeling my parents house and the downstairs was all torn up. The sleepover party I had in middle school and two of my friends took off in the middle of the night while the rest of us were sleeping because they were mad at us and my mom having a near heart attack in the morning and regretted taking Ny-Quill for her cold the night before.

Having my first ever sleepover party in 4th grade. Going on my first "grown up" birthday date with my parents to the Mall of America when I turned 11. Sorry for this one boys - "becoming a woman" on my 12th birthday(true story, both embarrassing, but yet kind of special). Having my first boy/girl party for my Sweet 16. Going out for special dinners with Nate. Gambling at Hinckley for the first time when we turned 18. Going out drinking for our 21st and let's just say we laughed a lot. Another college birthday when a fellow sorority sister stole a martini glass for me from Applebees for my present. Celebrating my golden birthday with friends and family at the bowling alley. Having birthday tiramasu from Buca one year instead of birthday cake. Going out with girlfriends for an epic night out to visit Santa and get fancy desserts in the middle of a big snowstorm. Nights of mayhem at Psycho Suzi's. Taking a weekend getaway with Nate to Duluth a couple of years back.

So many good times and even the "less good times" I pretty much look back and laugh at because they are kind of funny when you think about it.

As we've gotten older, and especially since Oktoberfest has become so hugely epic and it is one month before our birthdays, we've kind of scaled back our celebrations a bit, and I don't mind it so much. We still take time to celebrate with just each other and we always celebrate with our family. Plus, we have always had the challenge of our birthdays usually falling smack in the middle of Thanksgiving weekend. Now, when we were kids, this was awesome because you got days off from school! For your birthday! Now, it just kind of throws a wrench into planning too much, especially because Nate usually has relatives in from out of town. But at the same time, I somehow just don't mind that much. I couldn't imagine NOT having birthdays around Thanksgiving at this point in time. It just feels right.

So here I am just 10 days away from my 30th birthday and it is almost crazy to think I've done this 29 other times. It really doesn't make me sad though. It makes me smile to think of all the wonderful ways I've been blessed in my almost 30 years. That's not a bad way to look at it, don't you think?

Linking up to "Just Write" today.



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Just Write - Lazy day, best day

Saturday was a long, full, rather exhausting day.

Sunday we had plans of getting up, going out and doing stuff. I was calling it our "day of fun".

When Sunday dawned, we slept as late as our bodies would let us and realized, we're just feeling too lazy to go out and do anything. But looking back, it was the best day ever.

Breakfast in. Coffee. Prairie Home Companion on in the background.

Long, hot showers.

A trip to the video store, first time setting foot in an actual video store in years and discovering it is cheap, fun and a way to relive our dating years in a sense.

Coming home with two movies, making popcorn, settling in with blankets, dimmed lights and enjoying an in-home movie theatre experience.

Making tea, sitting out on the deck when it was discovered it wasn't raining as predicted.

Getting take out italian food from a favorite restaurant. A bottle of red wine and another movie. Rounding out with a couple of favorite shows from the week. A warm relaxing bubble bath. Falling into bed and actually falling asleep quickly, rare for Sunday nights.

It was a day of fun. We were together. We rested. We needed it.

It's more than ok to be lazy.

Linking up to "Just Write" today as I have been doing on Tuesdays. Visit Heather of the EO to read other Just Write posts or to add your own.

Just Write - Truth

Some days I feel somewhat misunderstood.

Some days I think people look at me like I have it knocked and I want to tell them, no one has it knocked. Everyone has their own battles to fight, some are smaller than others, but we all have them.

Some days I feel like things I say or things I do are the wrong things. Some days I feel like all I do is let people down.

Some days I feel like I have to defend choices I make for my own health and well being or for the sake of my husband's.

Some days I feel like all I want to do is scream.

Some days I feel like things around me are changing and it's out of my control. And other times I want to embrace those changes.

Some days I feel like I am trying to fit myself into a cookie cutter image that I don't even know where it came from.

Some days, like today, I just want to be honest. I am not perfect. I am who I am and I just want to be accepted as I am. I make mistakes sometimes. I am only human.

Some days I am afraid to admit these things, to write them, to hit submit. But other days I know it's healthy and it is ok. So today is one of those days.

Most days are not like these "some days". But they do come. I put one foot in front of the other and march on when they do. Because the next day is a new day. A new day.




Linking up to "Just Write" again today. Visit Heather at the EO to read other posts or to submit your own.

And as always on a heavier post like this I need to put a disclaimer that I AM OK. I am just in a season of up and downness and sometimes I need to write about it. Thanks for reading, don't worry, I don't need the little men in white coats. :)

Just Write - My feet are tired

My feet are tired.

I've worked hard all day on cleaning, cooking, preparing. I didn't take much time to rest before the festivities began.

My feet are tired.

I don't even get to taste any of the chicken I slaved away on all day as it's gone before you can say it was time to eat.

My feet are tired.

I'm working hard to get around to all the different people who have come out to see us on this lovely Fall evening, our house is packed to the brim.

My feet are tired.

But suddenly, I realize that this is what I wanted. This makes me happy. I look around and see my husband smiling and laughing with friends, sharing about his homebrew, beaming.

My feet are tired.

But even though they are, I continue observing and see college friends mingling with high school friends, church friends mingling with those who don't really do church, both sides of the family thrown in between. It is inspiring and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

My feet are tired.

But another glass of beer will help me power through as I sample some of the wonderful food that others were generous enough to bring. Some of which is likely even more delicious than that chicken. Especially the pumpkin tiramisu.

My feet are tired.

But my friends and family lift me up, make me laugh, and fill my house with love.

My feet are tired.

But my heart is full.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. I am beyond blessed.

Linking up once again to Just Write. An exercise in free writing, no editing, going up on Tuesdays. Visit Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary to link up or read other Just Write posts.

Just Write - Him

He is bold and fearless.  His personality is larger than life.  He never apologizes for who he is but he doesn't have to.  He is intellegent, confident and amazing.

He has had a hard time as of late though.  The light in his eyes has been a bit dimmer.  He's somewhere in there, but I can't always see him.

I tell him I want to make it better, I'd do anything, give anything.  He tells me it's not up to me to be the fixer.  He just wants me to be me.  That's enough.  So I back down a bit.

We have found some simple solutions to make things better.  Suddenly things have turned around.  I can see him again.  He's there.  He is himself again.  The light is back.

I am so proud of him, the man he has become in the five years we've been married.  He is my all and my everything and I am so very blessed.  And most of all, he is my hero.

Linking up today to Just Write an exercise in free writing and no editing.  Go visit Heather of the EO to read other Just Write posts or to add your own.

Just Write - Hats

This is a new exercise I'm trying out this week called "Just Write".  On Tuesdays, bloggers are encouraged to "free write" a post without much explanation or editing. In other words, we should "just write".  This is sponsored by Heather of the Extraordinary-Ordinary.  Go here for more information and to read other "Just Write" posts. 

I wear many hats.

I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a "sister". I am a friend. I am a singer. I am an administrative assistant. I'm a "parent" to two furry four legged type children.

I love wearing those hats.  But sometimes, especially when I try to pile them all on at once, I get off balance.  And I will admit to being off balance right now.

Fall is my favorite time of year, but historically it gets full of stuff.  I think because I love this time of year so much, I try to cram a lot of things in at once.  While wearing all of my hats.

So I'm stumbling a little right now as I balance these hats.  And clearly, some of these hats are probably a little more important than the others and should be the ones I'm wearing the most, but some days it's hard to pick and choose.  But I don't want any of the hats to break down, wear out, or fall apart.

I need to re-organize a bit.  Pull them all off.  Set them aside and make sure I'm still underneath them all.   Underneath them should be a person.  And I certainly don't want to lose site of her.

Then I can pull my hats back on.  Without them my head would most certainly be cold, so I cannot get rid of them, I would not want to.  But I can work on balancing them better.  Then I will not fall down.