Reflecting

Been rather contemplative these last few days.

A year ago at about this time, we were getting into a not so great place.  We were struggling.  There's no skirting around it, it's true.  Nate was having a really hard time at work, not sleeping, not dealing with stress very well at all. It was scary, I know I wrote a lot about this last year about this time - that I just felt like he wasn't there for a bit.

I had my own struggles and coming to terms with things as I approached the big 3-0.  I kept saying it was no big deal and I was accepting it as it got closer, but it was a struggle.  I wasn't 100 percent myself.

Flash forward a year back to the present day.  You don't want to jinx it by saying it out loud, but I also feel like I don't want to just hide it either - we're both in a good place.  It took some time to get there, but we're really doing well.  I'm especially proud of Nate - work has improved for him so that helped a ton, but he also worked hard on figuring out ways to manage his stress and I think he had to work through some things for himself as well.  Now he's in a good place, he's healthy and happy.  I can't ask for much more than that.

I came through the other side too - I too am in a really good place now.  I think I have changed a bit.  Not necessarily in a bad way.  I feel less intense, less overly future-minded, more overall peaceful.  Yes, She Reads Truth helped me with that a great deal, but also walking the road we walked over the last year has led me to this place as well.  I gained some wisdom.

I always believe things happen for a reason, so as much as it sucked at the time, I figure we had to go through what we did last year for some reason.  I learned things as I went.  It's similar to other times we've been in that boat - when Nate was out of work, when I dealt with leaving Immaculate - these were tough challenges we had to deal with and somehow we still came through it stronger and better for it.  And the same can be said for our bump in the road last year.  That is how I choose to look back on it - a bump.  There may be other bumps ahead, I'm not so naive to believe it's always going to be smooth sailing - but having made it over another one, I have even more strength and courage if another one presents itself.

For now, I don't borrow trouble, I love where we are and where we are going.  I rejoice in it.  I'm smiling a lot.  And I take each day as it comes.  Most of all, I'm incredibly thankful and blessed.  I'll take it.