Taking care of my soul

So lately I've been thinking a lot.  They say with age comes wisdom and I guess I've been rather contemplative since turning 30 and I think I've learned and figured out some things.

I think it's human nature to find fault in others when we're less than satisfied with ourselves.  I'm guilty of it.  During Lent I tried to be less that way, but fell back into the old pattern.  Now I'm really trying hard to give it up again.  Everyone is fighting their own battle in life.  Who am I to judge their choices or how they live their life?  I certainly don't want anyone judging me.  So, I have made a fresh resolve to not make myself feel better by bringing others down.

As I've considered this, I've thought of relationships I've had and some hurt feelings or even bitter feelings I've had with some individuals that maybe weren't fair.  And I'm letting them go.  Water under the bridge.  Starting fresh and forgiving.  And it feels good.  And there has even been some re-connecting with some in my life that I thought I had lost and that has felt good too.

I think it's no coincidence or accident that shortly after I decided to really try harder at being a kinder, less cynical type person that I stumbled onto an online community of women who are doing a bible study together.  And I will admit, I have never been great at reading the bible.  Like, I probably haven't even so much as looked at it since I was a youth minister and even then, I only read what I needed for Confirmation lessons.  So I found this group, this community - first it was just a handful of bloggers posting on Twitter and now it's become www.shereadstruth.com - and the first thing they did was suggest a plan for reading a daily scripture - the Soul Detox plan from the Youversion bible app for iPhone (yes they make these!).  So I started silently following along.  And I feel like this plan was designed just for me - because the very devotions this plan has have all been about to trying to rid ourselves of the negative things in our life.  The "toxic feelings" and "toxic thoughts" we have.

I'm just over a week in and I love it.  I feel refreshed. But I'm far from perfect.  And I certainly don't have a "I"m holier than thou because I'm doing this" attitude.  I just feel this is something I need in my life right now.

I love that there is a community of other women doing this as well who I can share with.  I have friends in real life of all walks of life - others who are religious like myself and many others who are not at all.  And I love and respect all of them - but it's nice to have a place online where I can be a little more open.

I may blog about this from time to time here, because it doesn't feel like it belongs on my fashion blog.  If you feel so inclined, check out Shereadstruth.com and join in as well.  When the Soul Detox plan is over another one will begin.  And if you are one of my non-religious friends, I just ask you respect me in the same way I respect you.  You can skip over these posts and it won't offend me.  And not all of my posts will be about this, just when I feel like I need to write about something.

I'm just feeling such a sense of peace.  And no matter where you're coming from in life, I wish you peace as well.

Just Write - Him

He is bold and fearless.  His personality is larger than life.  He never apologizes for who he is but he doesn't have to.  He is intellegent, confident and amazing.

He has had a hard time as of late though.  The light in his eyes has been a bit dimmer.  He's somewhere in there, but I can't always see him.

I tell him I want to make it better, I'd do anything, give anything.  He tells me it's not up to me to be the fixer.  He just wants me to be me.  That's enough.  So I back down a bit.

We have found some simple solutions to make things better.  Suddenly things have turned around.  I can see him again.  He's there.  He is himself again.  The light is back.

I am so proud of him, the man he has become in the five years we've been married.  He is my all and my everything and I am so very blessed.  And most of all, he is my hero.

Linking up today to Just Write an exercise in free writing and no editing.  Go visit Heather of the EO to read other Just Write posts or to add your own.

One moment at a time

As I've been mentioning here occasionally, we've been in a season of craziness in our house.  And I don't know how to say it without it seeming negative because it isn't - but Nate and I really needed some time to focus on each other and spend some time just the two of us for a bit.  So again, this is no offense to any of our friends, family or fellow Praise Project members, but I am so glad he and I finally had some much needed couple time this weekend.  And I hope that we can continue to make sure we're fitting that in because while all those other things are certainly very important to us too, we have a tendency to get into a pattern where we are neglecting each other and that's not good or healthy either.  Again it's all about balance and we're working on a better balance.  Looking ahead to this week - well it's not quite balanced right but it should be the last week like that for awhile fortunately.

So anyway, back to our couple time this weekend, you may ask, what did we do with our time together?  On Saturday we had dinner out at a restaurant we haven't been in a very long time, Clauddaugh in Maple Grove.  It was wonderful, we both really enjoyed our meals and it was quite relaxing.  We went home and played some backgammon and then watched some TV shows.

Sunday we slept in - wow did that feel good!  Nate made us some wonderful breakfast and we took our time eating and enjoying each other's company.  Then we decided to head off to the Como Zoo.  We haven't been there for awhile and it's always had a special place in my heart because that is where we got engaged.  I was worried when we first got to the Como Park area because the parking lots were full and there was some walk going on, but then we found out that they have free shuttle service on the weekends from the Saints baseball stadium.  Hardly anyone was using that service either so we were able to park with no problem and take a little ride on a bus back up to the zoo.

Some highlights from our zoo visit:

Baby Orangutan and it's mother

Under the "date" tree in the Conservatory

The Japanese Garden - so peaceful and serene

Me in the Japanese Garden

I'm so glad we took some time to spend out there.  We got to see the visiting Brown Bears from the Minot, North Dakota zoo as well, they weren't terribly photogenic however.

After our zoo trip we went home to veg for a bit before heading over to my in-laws for dinner, we had yummy ribs and potatoes with them.  Went back home and Nate was a nice guy and helped me move our Elliptical machine up into the spare bedroom.  Right now our running/walking program is kind of on hold, so I need a form of exercise and was tired of working out in the dungeon that is my laundry room, so we're going to try it upstairs for awhile.  We will see how it goes, it is taking up more room that I'd like, but it was nice this morning when I was using it, so hopefully it'll last.

And now we're into a crazy week, but I'm choosing to go one moment at a time and I think we'll get through it all!