So lately I've been thinking a lot. They say with age comes wisdom and I guess I've been rather contemplative since turning 30 and I think I've learned and figured out some things.
I think it's human nature to find fault in others when we're less than satisfied with ourselves. I'm guilty of it. During Lent I tried to be less that way, but fell back into the old pattern. Now I'm really trying hard to give it up again. Everyone is fighting their own battle in life. Who am I to judge their choices or how they live their life? I certainly don't want anyone judging me. So, I have made a fresh resolve to not make myself feel better by bringing others down.
As I've considered this, I've thought of relationships I've had and some hurt feelings or even bitter feelings I've had with some individuals that maybe weren't fair. And I'm letting them go. Water under the bridge. Starting fresh and forgiving. And it feels good. And there has even been some re-connecting with some in my life that I thought I had lost and that has felt good too.
I think it's no coincidence or accident that shortly after I decided to really try harder at being a kinder, less cynical type person that I stumbled onto an online community of women who are doing a bible study together. And I will admit, I have never been great at reading the bible. Like, I probably haven't even so much as looked at it since I was a youth minister and even then, I only read what I needed for Confirmation lessons. So I found this group, this community - first it was just a handful of bloggers posting on Twitter and now it's become www.shereadstruth.com - and the first thing they did was suggest a plan for reading a daily scripture - the Soul Detox plan from the Youversion bible app for iPhone (yes they make these!). So I started silently following along. And I feel like this plan was designed just for me - because the very devotions this plan has have all been about to trying to rid ourselves of the negative things in our life. The "toxic feelings" and "toxic thoughts" we have.
I'm just over a week in and I love it. I feel refreshed. But I'm far from perfect. And I certainly don't have a "I"m holier than thou because I'm doing this" attitude. I just feel this is something I need in my life right now.
I love that there is a community of other women doing this as well who I can share with. I have friends in real life of all walks of life - others who are religious like myself and many others who are not at all. And I love and respect all of them - but it's nice to have a place online where I can be a little more open.
I may blog about this from time to time here, because it doesn't feel like it belongs on my fashion blog. If you feel so inclined, check out Shereadstruth.com and join in as well. When the Soul Detox plan is over another one will begin. And if you are one of my non-religious friends, I just ask you respect me in the same way I respect you. You can skip over these posts and it won't offend me. And not all of my posts will be about this, just when I feel like I need to write about something.
I'm just feeling such a sense of peace. And no matter where you're coming from in life, I wish you peace as well.
6/4/12
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3 comments:
I am glad that you have found this and that it is working for you! I hope this community and journey continue to bring you peace and positivity!
Its interesting that since finding my faith, I feel much more connected to other people of faith, regaurdless of what that is. I have an instant reaction when I read the words: the bible, to brustle because its a defense mechanism created from so many years of need. Yet from the place where I am now, I totally understand where your comming from. I have a group of pagens that I meet with twice a month and it takes care of a part of you thats hard to explain. It's a sense of peace and completion that's so needed, yet not realized until its there.
I'm glad you've found that. I wish you the best with it.
I'm glad that you found this and it's helping you in your quest. I am going to have to check it out.
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