Feeling Strangely Fine

I won't lie - I stole the title of this post from an album from the group Semisonic that was popular back in the mid-90's - but it describes me at the moment.

I have had many different reactions to the concept of me having Lasik. A large number of those have been "Wow, I could never do that, I can't believe you're doing that, you're so brave." I don't know, maybe there is something wrong with me that I'm not terribly freaked out about this yet. I have a few days left, I suppose it could happen, but I feel ok right now.

Even last night at dinner my own husband is like "so how are you feeling about your surgery, are you nervous yet?" And I'm like, no not really. Should I be? Ha ha.

I guess when I let myself truly think about the actual things that will be going on - sure it gets the heart going a little bit, but for the most part, I'm just not that worried about it. I will be getting a sedative if I want it that day. They are going to be using quadruple strength numbing drops. The most I've been told I'll feel is a little pressure, as if if someone is pushing on my eye with their thumb. And even that only last about 10 seconds.

My mom asked today what would happen if something goes wrong - but I'm kind of like, ok sure, there is always a risk, but I'm not thinking in terms of something going wrong. And my doctor is one of the best at Lasik - he'll stop if there's a danger and he'll fix it if something gets messed up. I have a lot of faith in the doctor and I don't anticipate issues.

I'm just calm about the whole thing. Zen even. And again, we're still a couple of days away, there is always that chance I'll get panicked before then. But I don't know. With other major things like when I had my wisdom teeth out, or got my braces or even when I know I'm facing a blood draw, I could be angst about it for days. Not so far with this. Eyes just don't freak me out. And I'm so excited about the end results that I guess that is what I'm mostly focused on.

Ok, wait, I got it, there is something scary about this - I won't be able to wear eye makeup for a couple of weeks afterward. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!